I apologize

        No funny quips, no jokes, no text, most likely my last post. I have come to realize the truth to my nature and how I run games, how I am as a GM, I have come to see the reality of the situation which then calls into question everything I have done and decided upon in my life. After a fantastically destructive end to a game, possibly, I have come to the realizations about the truth and complexity of my games, and how they truly are not that good. Therefore in light of this circumstance, in one of the only places where I make any public appearance through discussion of my games and GMing in general, I will hang up my GM cloak and hat, in a manner of speaking. I realize the honesty and viciousness behind my games, how truly bad they were, and am both horrified to the point of complete seclusion from any public eye and any form of socializing, and am also deeply saddened to the point of tears, the damage my games have wrought. I realize how terrible my games and how I was as a GM, and I apologize to everyone I've ever been involved with as a GM, I apologize to my friend Mae, to Jeffery, to Nikki, to Spencer, to Walker and all my players, I failed as a GM and I accept that. I'll wrap up the games for those I still GM for, I can only promise, for what its worth it will be a happy and not depressing ending, it will be an ending which you deserve and will get, and will give you both the satisfaction and elation you deserve, though if you doubt that due to my past GMing I completely understand. If I could reimburse you for your wasted time, if I could give you your games and characters back I would and will, if we game again. I am sorry for the misery I have created, I know now how I was, and am, as a GM, friend, and human being, and it was the most despicable of examples and I could never be more sorry and abhorred by seeing what I have done and how I was as a GM.
        It is no consolation, it is barely close to something which would invoke relief within you, but know I truly tried to create a fun and interesting environment, I love you all, remember this, and always have, I am sorry, and let us wrap up these games as friends and move on to other roads and paths, for clearly this path of Pathfinder, is not my calling, and I understand this now.

       I love you all as much as a brother, friend, and GM (for the time being)
       Ryan

New beginnings

I have walked for years, I have seen

I believe in my eyes, for my eyes tell me illusions

I stride for years, I observe

A new beginning, with new explorers

I have learned, I have love

Those that hold their fate, their probability

A new challenge has come, you have no idea what is to come

And through this, I am the object of triumph; you may obtain this

I am a kind of fabric, though incomplete

My being lush, green, beautiful and majestic, though terrible and fatal to all

OK ALL! So here's an updated riddle cause after much deliberation and getting some pretty solid feedback elsewhere, perhaps this will help!

    -If you have triumphed over your foes, the crowds will name you this; one deserving of such words as winner and glorious

    -I am a cut above the rest, a fabric worn by kings; my quality is better if I’m crushed, unlike most other things.

    -Am I a tree of evergreen? A plant of poison leaves? Or am I the place you put a key, at the seam the tailor weaves?

And one more extra big hint, this is a name, a first, middle, a last, AND that the second line is only the first half of the word, a word which rhymes with a musical instrument found in a church! Good Luck!