Hey all!

So its been a good long while since I've posted...anything. Honestly I'm almost certain my Father will be the only one to see this, but I figured for...posterity sake I should put something up. That in itself is an arrogant thought of mine but I guess I'll allow for this one last indulgence. I guess I have to pretend my players, and future players, may see this, and all my nerdy friends and so forth. Either way I may look back on this and chuckle a bit for the silliness of it all, who knows?

So, I have been running games now for 12 solid years now. A pretty admirable time to be running them fairly consistently, and I'm quite proud of the fact. I've been playing all sorts of RPG's now, especially that of DnD 3.0, 3.5 and Pathfinder for 16 years. More than half of my life, as of now in 2017, I have played and loved every moment of the game, the story telling, the enjoyment my players get out of it. Its been a damned good ride and I would do it all over again knowing where it would end up. And end, sadly, is where it's heading.

I suppose it really began to die when I moved out, when the friend groups shattered, when bills and the damned adult necessities began to crowd in. I resisted, oh did I resist and resist and resist longer than most, but certainly not longer than others who are more fortunate to continue. Regardless the end was slow, quiet and nearly inconceivable. Nearly...but not impossible. You see, every time we gathered for a game, for a function and just hanging out in our nerdom in the back of my head, unbeknownst to you all I would have a notion, this may not last forever, and by all accounts it wont last even that much longer. It was a morbid train of thought but it was one I never could shake. That's why I enjoyed every moment, looked forward to the next game, spent so many hours on a world that would not garner me any wealth or notoriety, just for the game, for the story, for the players. But, my friends, we're a dying breed.

Recently nerdiness became trendy, became acceptable and even pursued because suddenly those bastard popular kids saw the money nerds were beginning to rake in. So we had quite the golden age, but that age is ending. I know so many would argue me on this or deny it, but I would and will ardently disagree. As time strolls along, another trend takes the place of nerdiness, the suddenly active gamers are finding themselves in the crosshairs to finding jobs, finding stability, setting the games aside for a future, whatever that may be. Its the way of life, I suppose, unless we're the fortunate handful that make a name in entertainment and so can continue our games, whilst making some cash, we are destined to focus elsewhere. We're a dying breed, regardless of what these extremely popular nerds would say, they don't see it as we do, nor experience the stress of needing to buckle down in something practical or find ourselves homeless.

I always managed to keep the games alive with loyal friends and groups I gathered together. But one by one, over the years, we disbanded. First my main group of all highschool and early twenties drifted apart, or rather exploded in a fiery end and tragedy. Then my more remote friends over the mountains were harder to see as frequently, so that ended slowly but surely. Then a small group I corralled from a different game I attended sadly ended for reasons I'd rather not talk about. And at last, the last breaths of a tiny group, that stuck by me to the end became less and less interested in gaming. Or at least one or two did, perhaps. And so, we see the eventual end. I'm sorry if this seems dramatic, or unnecessarily morose, but I'm doing my best to tell it in as straightforward a manner as possible.

So, here we are in the month of march 2017, so much has happened...so godamned much. And I don't see it getting any less...busy so to speak. I've enjoyed being your GM for as long as I have, and I definitely will jump at the chance to do it again, but as it is now if anyone ever has a passing longing for Pathfinder, or feels a little betrayed or what have you, just know we are kind of a dying breed. We're getting older and perhaps younger generations will take up Pathfinder and the nerdiness, perhaps, but as it is now, it seems a little less talked about, a little less discussed. I've done my best, I've tried through tears, literally tears and actual sweat to keep the games going. Losing sleep, working on the world of Entrathia with no actual gain save for the pure enjoyment of the game, and all manner of stress and health issues.

I'm confident but reserved that one day we'll play again. Will it be as involved and constant as before? Only time can tell. As for now though as a passing post, I guess I'll just say thank you and see you around the table soon hopefully.

At least we got to be a dying breed of an epic and badass group of players, huh? Fuck, it was amazing and still is to me.

-Ryan

Roll on