I've done this at least twice, I think, if not more before. I realize I run on at tangents, I realize I have abhorrent grammar, but one way or another I need to AT LEAST try to get my point across. I'm doing this as both an insurance policy to myself and to the friends I have in my life. I know I have a small modicum of followers, that Blogging is the way of the dinosaurs, but Vlogging this seemed too tacky to me, and a personal email felt as though it would be a personal attack. In no way am I doing this to attack anyone (cue Ryan's upward inflected disarming voice). In all reality I'm just writing this in hopes to elucidate a few things, to make it clear, concise and then move on.
So, with that in mind I think I need to be as clear as possible, together. I feel, though this is completely my own opinion and many if not all may not share in this belief, that there is a massive communication hole in pretty much everything we're doing, to a degree. There are times I feel we miss a beat, and by that I mean that something goes unsaid or is said in possibly a negative way, that wasn't originally meant in that way. It seems to me that perhaps I have flooded the airwaves with TOO much communication and thereby have forced others to either halfheartedly coincide with my opinions or keep quiet because I've arrested them from being forward. I realize I talk and talk and text and email quite more than...well than more than I would like to admit, as in more than most. I feel that in talking and attempting to lay things out plainly for those to see I muddle the scenery and create biased or unshared views, even resentment. I want to nip this in the bud before it gets to a breaking point.
I've tried to communicate my wish for those to be honest with me. To tell me if I'm rubbing them the wrong way, as in causing resentment or even tight lipped anger, but by constantly addressing this I feel I may have dammed up any chance for those that feel that way to express such concerns. Well let me put aside any doubts, let me not attempt to create some strange veneer of self fulfilling prophetic claims and then becoming angry after the fact. All things said and done, be forward with me about anything, everything. I'll listen quietly, I wont offer my counter points, honestly I'm more curious what any/everyone has to say. I feel that art of listening WELL, not just listening because people are good at that but terrible with the latter, is completely lost. We listen, wait patiently, feign politeness, then strike back with as much vitriol as we could muster in the time we waited.
Honestly I feel it would serve for a WAY better friendship if we could all clear the air as it were. Honestly I may be fabricating unwarranted demons, I may be creating issues where there are none. If truly no one has a problem or communication is in no way lacking, well then I'm glad that my simmering worries were proved false. Honestly I love being wrong, most of the time, because it means that my viewpoints and opinions are detached from me and are just that, things which change and aren't my complete self and being. So shoot away, clear the air, and lets continue on with the fanfic, after a rousing and enjoyable conversation I hope!
Don't roll your D20, set it to 20 for an automatic Charisma success.
Ryan
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