A return to old ties

It has been far too long...

        Hello all! Wow...its been...ages and ages. Firstly to those of you kind enough to respond to my last post, thank you all I very much appreciate it. Secondly, well a lot has happened, honor has been gained, blood has been spilt, shields have been broken...it was a cold year, a cold day, and a red dawn. Epic no? Any who about a full month ago, give or take a few days at the end of June, a good friend of mine passed away from over dose on a destructive substance. That is all the detail I need go into, at least for my own sake of being. After losing my friend, one I have known since I was in 2nd or 3rd grade (he would always correct me) I got to thinking and feeling, of course. My thoughts went thusly: It's cliche to say life is too short to harbor resentment but it certainly rings true here. I just lost a friend I've known a majority of my life. I shed more tears than I thought I would, I thought I would be "strong" as many have said to be, and you know what? To hell with that. I broke down and damn it all it was one of the hardest fucking things to come to terms with, but damn it all I am coming to terms with it. I had some trying games and I thought GMing for me was a safe haven free from the storm that has been my life for the past couple of years. A few games have shown me otherwise and the friends I've had and still have certainly tested and conflicted with me in so many ways, fuck what a year...what  a couple of years. But when all is said and done, especially for the past month, I just don't care and I don't believe I will care (too much) about what is to come. Having my close friend die on me has slowly changed me, to stop trying to accommodate everyone, and to live. I love to GM, I will morph my GMing to different groups with different demands. I will write, I will cry, I will laugh, I will love and I will live...

        So that's only a paraphrasing bit on my minds process. Yup, good stuff to meditate and think and think some more on what's been going on. So I made my apologies, I bordered on whether to keep GMing (there was a time where I was about to hang up my GM mantle...) and well here I am. All I have to say is, as I get ready to post regularly on here again is, time is fleeting and having lost a friend I should know that harboring anger or regrets may never get resolved, be careful if you do. 

        Well as always, those few of you reading this, keep on rolling your D20 and hope for a day of gaming and fun,

        Ryan